A day after being discharged of all charges in IPL spot-fixing, Shanthakumaran Sreesanth looked happy and calm as he returned home to an emotional welcome. But beneath the happy exterior lies a troubled cricketer, who at 32, is desperate to make a comeback to top-flight cricket but realizes that it will be anything but easy. The mercurial pacer spoke about his life in the aftermath of the spot-fixing scandal, about the 'dreaded over' in IPL 2013 and his future plans in course of an exclusive chat. Excerpts:
You have been absolved of all charges by the court. But BCCI has made it clear that the ban imposed on you will not be lifted. How do you view the twin developments?
I am not looking too far ahead. I am taking it second-by-second, minute-by-minute. I had to wait patiently for two-and-a-half years to get relief from the court in a case I got involved for no fault of mine. I am firm believer that time heals everything. My dream is to play the 2019 World Cup and win it for the country. That may sound unrealistic to you. But I have always believed in myself and it is my self-belief that has helped me to not only become the second cricketer from Kerala to play for India but also win two World Cups (2007 World T20 and 2011 World Cup).
Are you apprehensive about your return to the field?
Not at all. The court has absolved me of all charges. I started practising from today. I am just 20 per cent fit now compared to what I used to be when I was playing regularly. I have to work hard to regain full fitness. I am sure that if I practice regularly I will be match-fit in six weeks.
The BCCI ban means you will not be able to use any of the facilities or grounds under Kerala Cricket Association. Where will you practice?
There are other grounds here. I need a ground and a pitch to get up and running. I became an India cricketer by playing on the maidans of Kochi. I am willing to do that again. I hope sooner or later I will be cleared to play and once that happens I will try and perform to the best of my ability and get selected. I have always respected BCCI's decisions. So even when they handed me a life ban, I didn't react because I knew I had to wait to get my name cleared in the spot-fixing case. Now that the court has dismissed all charges against me, I request the BCCI to allow me to play club level cricket at least.
In hindsight, do you think all the sacrifices that you made to make a comeback after injury in 2012 went down the drain once you got implicated in the IPL spot-fixing scandal?
When I look back, that hurts me the most. I should have neither played IPL that year nor domestic cricket. I played for Kerala in 2013. I was targeting an India comeback for the South Africa series in October. But I pushed myself to show the world Sreesanth is fit and raring to go by playing IPL. Then all hell broke loose.
Delhi Police implicated you in spot-fixing by alleging that you wore a towel in the match against Kings XI Punjab in Mohali as a message signal to the bookies. Can you describe what exactly happened in that over that turned your world upside down?
During my interrogation they asked me the same thing. Anyone who knows me and has seen me play would have noticed that I wear a towel quite often in international and domestic matches, too. There was an earlier match in the same season where I was playing against Pune Warriors where I was hit by Robin (Uthappa) and Aaron Finch for more than 20 runs in an over. I was wearing a blue towel then. Nobody questioned that. Now, the particular over you are talking about, they have alleged that I had agreed to concede 14 runs. Of the first four balls only five runs came. Now tell me if I had agreed to concede 14 runs in that over, as they allege, wouldn't I have been keen to concede runs in the beginning of the over itself ? There was not a single no-ball, wide or slower one that I bowled in that over. Now, if I was supposed to concede 14 runs, wouldn't I have bowled at least a no-ball in the beginning? Their allegation defied cricketing logic and any person who knows something about cricket wouldn't think twice before dismissing it as stupidity.
After you got implicated in the spot-fixing scandal, there were many bigwigs in BCCI who got involved in betting scandal and now two teams have been suspended too.Have you been following these developments?
Honestly, I am just bothered about myself and my family. I have got a very supportive wife, parents, siblings and now a beautiful two-month old daughter. I am not bothered about others. I have heard that a lot of people feel that I am going to take revenge. I don't understand what they are talking about. I am not going after anyone nor do I know whom to go after. Life is important. If I am allowed to play it would be great. If not, I will look towards films and television. At the end of the day, I just want to take care of my family.
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